Blue: Fan Battle Archives Blue Version Poké Battles #36-40: Forces of Nature Main Menu
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| Blue Version Poké Battles #36-40: Forces of Nature |
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Clearly, the forces of nature have drawn Ash and Thatgirl together. It's rare that I actually laugh aloud when reading Poké Battles, but this one caught me completely off guard. It was so absurdly funny that I had to put it up, despite the fact that it didn't meet the minimum length requirements. Actually, the fact that it IS so short is part of what makes it so funny. Check it out--perhaps you will find yourself laughing aloud as well. Battle #36: Battle of Pokégirl December 1, 1999 Setting: Game / Reality Player: Pokégirl [Record: 1-0-0] Last Battle: Win vs. Gary Webmaster's Choice: Award Winning Battle POKéGIRL goes for A WALK! Oh Geez, not again POKéGIRL sees THATGIRL! Oh, hi Sister. THATGIRL wants to battle! Why are little sisters always like this? THATGIRL sends out MEOWTH! Go, ASH! THATGIRL is jealous of ASH! Who would like ASH? THATGIRL likes ASH! OH DEAR LORD! THATGIRL really likes ASH! ASH Really likes THATGIRL! OH....MY....LORD POKéGIRL is BARFING! THATGIRL SURRENDERS! Yeah, and keep ASH! POKéGIRL runs for her dear life! The mouse, when found in nature, will fight quite viciously. It is fairly common for trainers to use a computer mouse as a Pokémon. (This was inspired by Red Version battle #2) However, until now the rodent version of the same name has never been used. This battle, written by a new author, pits one type of mouse against the other, using very little actual dialogue. The battle itself is very long - possibly the longest Blue Version battle to date. Read on! Battle #37: Mouse Vs. Mouse December 8, 1999 Setting: Game / Reality Player: Yoshi542 [No Record] LAB MOUSE is running on his wheel. MOUSE broke up with keyboard. MOUSE is angry. MOUSE wants to fight! LAB MOUSE declines and drinks off his bottle. LAB MOUSE poops and then agrees to battle. MOUSE used cage open attack. It has no effect on LAB MOUSE. LAB MOUSE used squeak. MOUSE was irritated. MOUSE used slide. MOUSE slid across the table and fell to the ground. LAB MOUSE went back to its cage. MOUSE used cord attack. It grabbed a sprinkler and went back up on the table. It's super effective! MOUSE got pooped on and mouse ball is stuck. MOUSE withdrew MOUSE and took out mouse ball. MOUSE BALL used hop attack. MOUSE BALL landed on LAB MOUSE. It's super effective! MOUSE used claw. Claws clawed themselves against the small mouse ball. MOUSE BALL is confused. MOUSE BALL used roll. MOUSE BALL ran over claw. LAB MOUSE is angry. LAB MOUSE really wants to fight! Sad excuse for a battle eh? LAB MOUSE/MOUSE: Hey!!! You're writing this not us! Oh yeah sorry. Wait I want to battle. Writer takes out Yoshi542 My turn you mouses! Yoshi542 used pet on LAB MOUSE. LAB MOUSE fell asleep. MOUSE used potion. No Effect -MOUSE wants to fight. Again? MOUSE says I've had enough troubles for today; my turn to whoop some rear! MOUSE used body slam at Yoshi542. IT'S SUPER EFFECTIVE! OW!!! Why my face you dumb office supply!? Yoshi542 fainted. LAB MOUSE awoke! LAB MOUSE sees Yoshi542 on the ground unconscious. LAB MOUSE is very mad at MOUSE for hurting Yoshi542. Yay go MOUSE! LAB MOUSE took out Pikachu! Pikachu: pika pi!!! Pikachu used thunderbolt. MOUSE got powered up. MOUSE wants to fight! Dang it! LAB MOUSE says it's equal now! MOUSE used clicking. Pikachu is paralyzed. It may not attack! LAB MOUSE: Pikachu no! -LAB MOUSE withdrew Pikachu and takes out... LAB MOUSE. We saw that a mile away... God: Shut up and get back to the story! Oh, sorry. LAB MOUSE used stupid rodent look. MOUSE is confused. MOUSE used body slam. It hurt itself in its confusion. hehehe. God: This is your last warning.. EEP!! LAB MOUSE used poop on MOUSE. No Effect! LAB MOUSE: doh! MOUSE regained consciousness. MOUSE used scroll ball shave attack! MOUSE shaved LAB MOUSE IT'S VERY EFFECTIVE! LAB MOUSE fainted. MOUSE wins. Yoshi gets arthritis from typing and faints. God wins! Trees are one of the most formidable forces nature has to offer. Often, Blue Version battles revolve around either Star Wars, the trainer Joe's convertible, or the tree from battle #1. All three of those things are combined in this battle, written by veteran author Darkluke and the tree go toe to toe with a new trainer, Hippy from the 70's. Can this new trainer defeat the by now experienced tree? Battle #38: Convertible Chaos December 8, 1999 Setting: Game / Reality Player: Hippy from the 70's [No Record] Wahoo! I just got a new convertible. I'll just drive down the street with my new convertible. Tree appeared! A tree. This must be the one that captured Darkluke. Tree wants to fight. I thought so. Okay go Gyarados. Hippy sent out Gyarados. Enemy Tree sent out Darkluke. Enemy Darkluke used the Force. Gyarados was forced to use Hyper Beam. Enemy Darkluke fainted. Cool!!! Enemy Tree withdrew Darkluke. Enemy Tree sent out Apple. Gyarados use your Dragon Rage attack. Owwww! Not on me. Enemy Apple used Pip Gun. Enemy Apple's attack missed. Use your Bite attack. It's super effective. Enemy Apple fainted. Enemy Tree withdrew Apple. Enemy Tree sent out Tree. Use your Hydro Pump attack. It's not very effective. Enemy Tree used Fall. Enemy Tree fell on Gyarados. Gyarados fainted. Oh man. Hippy withdrew Gyarados. Hippy sent out Convertible. Use your run over attack. Enemy Tree was run over. One hit KO! Enemy Tree fainted. Convertible gained 5347 exp points. Convertible grew to level 37. Hippy wins! Cool man! The tree is quite possibly nature's most impressive creation. This battle, written by a new author, introduces a very old "Grandpa" as the trainer and the tree (which is identified in this battle as a Maple Tree) as his enemy. I particularly like the main character in this battle - Grandpa is a unique trainer and likely to be used frequently in future Blue Version battles. Battle #39: The Maple Tree Strikes Back December 15, 1999 Setting: Game / Reality Player: Grandpa [No Record] Darned kids! Why in my day… GRANDPA runs into TREE! OW! TREE is enraged! Enemy TREE wants to fight! Well lookit that... must be one of those newfangled fertilizers... Enemy TREE sent out TREE! Okay you overgrown stick in the mud! Let's go! Go! CANESTICK! What the!? GRANDPA is confused! It hurt itself in its confusion! OW! Why you... Oh well. I'll teach you a lesson for running into me! I'm a licensed Senior Citizen! CANESTICK! Come back! Go! LICENSE CARD! What in blazes! How'd it do that? GRANDPA is confused! It hurt itself in its confusion! Hey! Stop that! Enemy TREE used FALL! APPLES fell on LICENSE CARD! LICENSE CARD fainted! Uh oh... That was my only copy... Okay! Put up your dukes! Go! DUKES! Quit that! Come back! ... Uh... Get over here! ... Um... Return? DUKES! Enough! Stupid things. I guess I'll send out myself if I said 'Go me.' GRANDPA sent out GRANDPA! Con-sarnit! Enemy TREE is enraged! Enemy TREE used fall! APPLES fell on GRANDPA! Con-flabbit! Stupid apples. Take this! GRANDPA used STICK WHACK! It's super effective! Enemy TREE fainted! GRANDPA won! I did? I WON! I'M A MILLIONAIRE!! HA-HEE-HEE-HEE!! I WON! I WON! I WON! ... Evil forces are at work in the Popcorn Man's mind. After a very long time, we finally get to see a battle written by This author became quite popular for a few weeks last August when he consecutively wrote Blue Version battles 8, 9, and the first tournament (he is actually the one who came up with the idea of having Blue Version tournaments). This battle picks up where Battle #9 left off, with an angry Luke Skywalker under control of the diabolical Popcorn Man. Battle #40: Pokémon Master Disaster! December 15, 1999 Setting: Game / Reality Player: Luke Skywalker [Record: 1-3-0] Last Battle: Loss vs. Man With Hook (Tournament #3) Readers' Choice: Award Winning Battle Author of Battle #8: Austin Powers Strikes Back (Webmaster's Choice Award Winning Battle) GO! DARKLUKE! Whew, I've been in that stuffy Poké ball for weeks! POPCORN MAN says you'd better get used to it! WHAT?! Not YOU again! POPCORN MAN is your trainer! It's super effective! IT IS NOT!!! Anyways, I'M NOT A POKEMON!!!! Yes you are! NO I'M NOT!!!! Yes you.... JAMES appeared! JAMES: Why didn't I get to be in the tournament? POPCORN MAN: Because you were never in any blue version battles, IDIOT!!! JAMES: WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME?!?! Hey! Am I missing something? JAMES wants to fight! POPCORN MAN wants to fight! JAMES sent out GEODUDE! GO! GODZILLLA! Hey! This is MY battle, you're supposed to send out ME!!! POPCORN MAN doesn't want to! Oh yeah? DARKLUKE used FORCE! POPCORN MAN was FORCED to send out DARKLUKE! That's better. Enemy GEODUDE used ROCK THROW! Ow! Take this! DARKLUKE used DARK!!! Enemy GEODUDE'S accuracy greatly fell! HA! Enemy GEODUDE used MEGA PUNCH! But, it failed! Time to finish it off! I AM YOUR AUNT'S SECOND COUSIN'S DOG'S OWNER NAMED EDDIE'S BROTHER IN LAW!!!! It's super effective! Enemy GEODUDE fainted! Ha Ha! JAMES sent out JIGGLYPUFF!!! Time for the force! DARKLUKE used FORCE! Enemy JIGGLYPUFF was FORCED to attack! I hate it when this happens... Enemy JIGGLYPUFF used SING! DARKLUKE fell asleep! zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz......... POPCORN MAN played the POKé FLUTE! DARKLUKE woke up! I had the weirdest dream... Enemy JIGGLYPUFF is getting JIGGLY with it! EWWW!!!! That's the sickest thing I ever saw! DARKLUKE used SLASH! Critical hit! Enemy JIGGLYPUFF fainted! All right! POPCORN MAN wins! DARKLUKE received the DARTH HELMET! Now I know how Darth Vader feels... I can hardly breathe in this thing! POPCORN MAN says you'd better get used to it! Grrr...… |
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