Blue Version Poké Battles #101-105: Anime Dogs - PokeBattles
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Blue Version Poké Battles #101-105: Anime Dogs
Who would want to get rid of Anime?!
KITE: This battle hit a string with me on a personal level. Every day, thousands of children tune in to overly edited anime. Poker games become go-fish. Sake becomes tea. We here at blue version wish to set an end to this blight upon humanity, and humbly offer this next battle.
Battle #101: A New Horror July 9, 2001
Setting: Olivine Beach
Player: Imperfect Cell
Written by

IMPERFECT CELL spread out a towel!
IMPERFECT CELL, put suntan lotion all over him!
IMPERFECT CELL Lied down
So this is where it all starts out huh?
IMPERFECT CELL is Lying down at the beach
yes I know that. Now aren't I just the best Dragonball Z fighter ever? Haahah
I THINK DIFFERENTLY
What do you mean? I am more Powerful than Goku!
WHY DON'T YOU TRY FIGHTING A POKEMON?
Whatever makes you happy. Bring it on.
Wild IGGLYBUFF appeared!
Oh really? That thing looks to cute to hurt anyone.
Send out something to fight it!
ok...
um go BALL THINGY!
Go! POKEBALL!
Critical Hit!
Its Dangerously Effective!
Wild IGGLYBUFF was caught!
IMPERFECT CELL gained 56938 exp.
IMPERFECT CELL grew to level 45!
yes...is that good?
....
ok I'll take that as a yes...
What? IMPERFECT CELL is evolving!
YES!! MWAHAHAHAHA! MWAHAHAHAHA!
IMPERFECT CELL evolved into CELL FORM 2
CELLFORM2 grew to level 56!
What? CELLFORM2 is evolving!
when does it stop??
CELLFORM2 evolved into PERFECTCELL!
Yes..now the true terror begins. I, perfect cell, have risen up, TO BECOME THE GREATEST TRAINER AND FIGHTER EVER! hahahahahaha!!!!! look out world..CELL has spoken...
Wild CENSOR appeared!
What ?!
Enemy CENSOR used evolve!
Enemy CENSOR evolved into FUNimation!
NO!!!!! my only weakness...censoring.
Enemy FUNimation used EDIT!
PERFECTCELL was edited!
No..can't go on like this..
Go IGGLYBUFF..
Get'm IGGLYBUFF!
IGGLYBUFF my friend..run! You'll be edited!
IGGLYBUFF: Iggly buff......( no..you're my trainer)!
Go! NOW!
NARRATOR used PICKUP!
NARRATOR picked up IGGLYBUFF!
narrator you must go..
Enemy FUNimation used ERASE!
NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!....
PERFECTCELL WAS ERASED!
NARRATOR ran away!
Enemy FUNimation wins!
FUNimation gains 3698 exp.!
What? FUNimation is evolving!
FUNimation evolved into NO ANIME ALLOWED!
NO ANIME ALLOWED changed his name to NO ANIME!
NOANIME: hehehee...I will edit out these puny people here, then return to Earth to ruin all the kids lives to ever play or watch those silly anime games again!
someone..must stop this menace before he destroys us all..
NOANIME squished PERFECTCELL!
NOANIME: Let this be a reminder of what I will do to this place!
MWAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!


To be continued..

Even dogs like pokebattles!
KITE: I've done enough work for today, now you want a battle discription?! Gah, evil people! Just leave me alone! *sniffle*.
Battle #102: Battle title: Man's second to best friend or the joke that is so old your great great great great great..... July 9, 2001
Setting: Game 30% / Reality 70%
Player: Rex (Race:Dog, Bullterrior)
Written by

REX is taking a STROLL!
I am? I mean woof woof!
REX is not a DOG!
nani?
YOU HEARD ME!
....
Wild SQUIRTLE appeared!
and that means what to me...
Fight Wild SQUIRTLE!
..with what
...
um..
REX lost his turn!
Wild SQUIRTLE fled!
That was weird...
who is this anyway?
You are REX!
I know that dimwit, I mean who are you?
NARRATOR is THE MAN!
NARRATOR rules all!
...Right..
NARRATOR senses hostility!
Wow you do huh? Tell me, how does it feel to have an IQ level of -690?
...
... your self
REX suddenly is tossed into a HOLE!
Ah!
Great. now I could use some assistance..
NARRATOR refuses!
look man.. I don't know where or what you are..but you best stop!

Doof!
Critical hit!
Its super effective! REX faints Horribly!
NARRATOR reveals himself!
NARRATOR is actually WANGTANG!
WANGTANG: Ha! I got you this time! that's what you get for stealing my cheese!
( we censor the following joke that you have probably have heard 100 times, and sworn if you heard it one more time you would explode).
WANGTANG: yup I'm the joke king!
WANGTANG flips REX's body into the FURNACE!
Will REX survive this horrible fate?!
Will WANGTANG ever regain his title over REX?!
Must I put exclamation marks after everything I say?!
Find out on REX's next Journey!

Infact, dogs like pokebattles so much, they star in them twice in a row!
ANDRE: Well, here is "REX's next Journey" as quoted two lines up in the battle above. This battle leaves me wondering who the hell Vectorman is, but no matter.
Battle #103: Rex Escapes! July 19, 2001
Setting: Game 30% / Reality 70%
Player: Rex (Race:Dog, Bullterrior)
Written by

REX is Falling!
And getting nauseous too aughh...
REX hits the bottom of the furnace!
ow! That hurt.
I might as well take a look around then.
REX takes a look!
REX sees FLAME!
A flame huh? Well, what do I do?
FLAME wants to fight!

Setting: Outside of Furnace
Player: WANGTANG( Race: Human)

..Where is that stupid mutt anyway?
VECTORMAN appeared!
ehn? Who are you?
VECTORMAN says to get out of his way!
sorry ain't gonna happen.
VECTORMAN used PLASMA BLAST!
erase?
WANGTANG's leg was blasted off!
WANTANG fell down!
Ack! My leg!
VECTORMAN says to join him!
Never..i'll never join anyone who zapped off my leg!
VECTORMAN used-
WAIT! OK! I'll join you!!
VECTORMAN smiles!
VECTORMAN grabbed WANGTANG's hand!
Please end it all right here......
VECTORMAN sucked up WANGTANG!
WANGTANG died!
VECTORMAN turns to furnace!
VECTORMAN hops in!

Setting: Level 1 Fiery Furnace
Player: Rex (Race: Bullterrier)

Ok flame, take this!
WATER HOSE ATTACK!
REX used WATER HOSE ATTACK!
Its super effective!
Enemy FLAME used SPREAD!
Thousands of flames sprouted everywhere!
Uh-oh.
VECTORMAN Appeared!
VECTORMAN used KICK on REX!
Owie owie!!!!!
VECTORMAN knocked REX down!
VECTORMAN says not to worry!
VECTORMAN says he'll finish this!
I'll get back to you after I relocate my jaw
Enemy FLAMES used SPREAD!
Millions of Flames sprouted everywhere!
Friend VECTORMAN used PLASMA FIELD!
A shield rose over VECTORMAN and REX!
Enemy FIRE used SPREAD!
Billions of flames sprouted everywhere!
Oh sweet jeezus!! now what genius?
Friend VECTORMAN used SHIELD BLAST!
Friend VECTORMAN's attack missed!
Enemy FLAMES used Spread!
Nothing happened!
By now those flames would be too small to exist!
Vectorman! Use FIRE EXTINGUISHER!
Friend VECTORMAN used fire extinguisher!
All the flames were extinguished!
It's super effective!
Enemy FLAMES fainted!
REX gained 7698002356872 exp. points!
VECTORMAN gained 1 quadrillion exp. points!
What? VECTORMAN is evolving!
VECTORMAN evolved into SUPERPLASMAMAN!
Nice going SuperPlasmaMan!
PLASMAN wants to know if you want to catch him.
Sure!
PLASMAN joined REX!
OK Plasman......um how do we get out of this place?
PLASMAN doesn't know!
KING FLAME Appeared!
sigh...
KING FLAME: You may have defeated my minions! But you'll never defeat me and get out of the furnace alive!!
Yah right. Ok so you wanna fight eh? heheh
REX threw POKEBALL!
Yes,... c'mon don't fail me. It cost me 5 American dollars!
Enemy KING FLAME was caught!
That was easy.
Ok time to get out my encyclopokedex
REX points ENCYCLOPOKEDEX at KING FLAME!
King Flame
Wt: 0.98
Ht: 7'8"
Type: RAGEFIRE
Elemental Type: Fire
HP: 45702352/45702352
Level: 213
Entry: Haling from the Fiery Furnace, KING FLAME reproduce by spreading. Although with much HP, its defense is very low, but it makes up for it with Attack and, Special Attack power
Moves: FLAME-THROWER, FLAME SHIELD, FIRE PUNCH, VOLCANO BLAST
Defense: 12
Special Defense:143
Speed:527569255994375
Attack:4560347865646456734954639576405457542578275243
Special Attack:37945623468536501507587284604347655683
Whoa....... Too high stats!!! Oh well. Plasman can you fly us out of here?
PLASMAN says he might be able to
Ok then lets go
PLASMAN used FLY!
PLASMAN got REX out of the FIERY FURNACE!
Whew! That was close..good work Plasman
PLASMAN says don't mention it!
Now where are we headed?
REX is blown up into the sky along with PLASMAN!
HERE WE GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Next Time: Level 2 SKY FORTRESS

Anime owns you.
ANDRE: Think of this battle as a Fahrenheit 451 for the Poké Battles community. Ray Bradbury never thought his ideas would apply to anime, now did he?
Battle #104: NOANIME attacks! July 19, 2001
Setting: FUNimation Studios
Player: NOANIME
Written by

GOD help us all!!
Quiet fool! You'll ruin my plans I'm thinking!
Now lets see..ah yes hahaha i plan to have my servants come forth!!
CENSORS appear suddenly!
Yes, my Colleagues..now, the plan I have in mind is, we'll censor the word "darn" and the word "gosh" for " deedle" and gosh will just be "oh my" ha!
now doesn't that just sound evil??
CENSORS agree
Perfect.
Wild PROTESTER suddenly appeared!
what the- who's that?!
Wild PROTESTER killed 6 CENSORS!
Stop this nonsense!! NOW!
PROTESTER turned to NOANIME!
I see..alright then..c'mon show me what you got
PROTESTER wants to fight!
PROTESTER sent out PROTESTER
Go! NOANIME!
hmmph..finish him with erase.
NOANIME used ERASE!
PROTESTER was ERASED!
NOANIME wins!
NOANIME gained 8463057 exp.!
What? NOANIME is evolving!
MWAHAAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This should definitely be good!
...
So?
NOANIME evolved into CENSORMISSINGNO.!
oohahahahahah now not only am I a censor, but now I'm also a glitch!
anything that touches me now will get a virus, and be censored!!
NARRATOR appears!
You? What do you what?
NARRATOR wants to fight!
NARRATOR sent out HYPER VICIOUS EVIL RABID ULTRA POWERED SUPER MEGA FATAL DREADFUL DOOMPUFF
OK..
Go me
Go! MISSINGANIME!
cool name
Enemy HYPER... used EAT!
No effect!
Ha..you can't touch me, you'll be glitched!
Enemy HYPER... was glitched!
Enemy HYPER... was DELETED from existence!
humph. narrator your turn..
NARRATOR ran away in terror!
hahah oh and to get your hopes down..any projectile attacks like beams and missile, will shoot inside me and be deleted! I am truly now, the most unstoppable being there is!
MISSINGANIME walks out the door
today, pokemon..tommorow ALL THE CARTOONS IN THE WORLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Pokemon anime isn't mentioned here, but pretend like it is to help the theme.
ANDRE: A sort of introductory battle, with some Red Version references.
Battle #105: What are Pokémon doing in a Poké Battle? July 19, 2001
Setting: On the way to Cinnabar
Player: Red
Written by

All right, time to get my Volcano Badge! Let's see, I've got my Starmie, Psyduck, Lapras...
PBNGUY wants to fight!
Huh? Oh, a trainer! I could use the experience. Go, Pikachu!
Get'm! PIKACHU!
PBNGUY wants to know if you're DA EVOLUTION MAN or DA REVOLUTION MAN!
Uh, no... neither of them. Why?
PBNGUY says it's because the first POKEMON you sent out was a PIKACHU!
So? Lots of people use Pikachu. C'mon, send something out!
PBNGUY sent out MODEM!
Huh? That's not a Pokemon...
PBNGUY says it IS!
PBNGUY says it was in a POKEBALL, so it must be a POKEMON!
...
okay, Pikachu, use Thundershock!
PIKACHU used THUNDERSHOCK!
It's super effective!
Enemy MODEM used CONNECT!
Never heard of that move...
Enemy MODEM was fully CONNECTed! ...To PIKACHU!
PIKACHU went ONLINE!
What? PIKACHU is evolving!
Hey, cool! That Modem thing must be like a Thunderstone...
PIKACHU evolved into ePIKACHU-NET!
Enemy PBNGUY used YELL!
He's getting mad... Pikachu, uh, I mean ePikachu-net, return!
You caught MODEM!
...didn't know that was possible...
Ha, Pbnguy! I caught your Pokemon!
PBNGUY sent out TREE!
> =Ooh, is that a Sudowoodo from G/S?
No! TREE is a TREE!
O-*kay*. Go, Psyduck!
Go, PSYDUCK!
Enemy TREE used APPLE DROP!
BLUE MEANIES appeared!
BLUE MEANIES want to know why enemy TREE is stealing their ATTACK!
APPLES fell on BLUE MEANIES!
BLUE MEANIES fainted!
Yes! I don't know what that was, but it bought us some time. Psyduck, use... hey, what attacks does Psyduck know, anyway?
PSYDUCK knows PSY, DUCK, WAVE, CONFUSION and QUACK ATTACK!
But... but that's 5 attacks!
TRUE! RED should give PSYDUCK more TMs! IT needs more ATTACKS!
..I give up. Try Wave, that sounds kind of like Surf.
PSYDUCK used WAVE!
PSYDUCK WAVED at enemy TREE!
It had absolutely no effect!
Enemy TREE is taking in sunlight...
Uh oh. Try Confusion!
PSYDUCK used CONFUSION!
Enemy TREE became confused!
It hurt itself in its confusion!
Enemy TREE fainted!
Well, that was easy enough. What's next?
PBNGUY sent out STORM DRAIN!
Enemy STORM DRAIN used DRAIN!
PSYDUCK was DRAINED!
Ouch! Hang in there Psyduck!
Enemy STORM DRAIN used FRISBEE OF DEATH!
Uh... try using Duck!
PSYDUCK used DUCK!
Enemy STORM DRAIN kept going and crashed!
Now hit it with Quack Attack! ...whatever that is.
PSYDUCK used QUACK ATTACK!
PSYDUCK is a QUACK!
PSYDUCK prescribed EKANS OIL to enemy STORM DRAIN!
Enemy STORM DRAIN was poisoned!
Enemy STORM DRAIN fainted!
PBNGUY: Wow. What were those things you were using?
Oh, just my Pokemon.
PBNGUY: Hmm. Maybe I'd better catch some of these "Pokemon." They seem powerful...
RED wins!

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