The Search for Mew: PBN exclusive battles Rare Battle #1: The Search Begins August 12, 1999 Player: Da Evolution Man [Record: 2-2-0] Last Battle: Loss vs. Bob "That Guy" Smith (Tournament #1) Hey Pikachu, let's go catch a Pokémon! PIKACHU refuses to help! Don't you want to be as famous as I, Da Evolution Man? PIKACHU says nobody knows who you are! Sure they do! I am Da Evolution Man! PIKACHU thinks your name is lame! Well fine, I'll go catch Mew by myself! PIKACHU is laughing! What are you laughing at? PIKACHU says there's no such thing as Mew! I heard about it from a perfectly reliable source... PIKACHU wants to know where! It was on a web site, right next to Pikablu and Mewthree. PIKACHU is LOLing! LOLing... what is that? Its tongue is lolling! Stop it... that's really scary. PIKACHU says your brain is scary! Look, I promise to get rid of my thunder stone if you agree to help me find Mew. PIKACHU doesn't believe you! I'll prove it! EVOLUMAN threw THUNDER STONE out the window! THUNDER STONE landed in TREE! TREE is ANGRY! Uh oh... I don't want to end up like that Luke Skywalker fellow... let's get outta here! PIKACHU agrees! EVOLUMAN got on the BICYCLE! PIKACHU wants to know where you plan on searching! Well, if I remember what the web site said correctly, I believe we must find a "game shark" PIKACHU wants to know what a SHARK is! You know... an animal. PIKACHU wants to know what an ANIMAL is! *sigh* An animal is the same as a Pokémon I guess... except it's real... PIKACHU used LAUGH! PIKACHU is laughing hysterically! NOW what's so funny? PIKACHU says that no Pokémon will ever tell you the location of another Pokémon! How would you know? PIKACHU says that it's because PIKACHU is a Pokémon itself! Well, maybe this "game shark" is different! PIKACHU says you may as well ask PIKACHU! Huh? What're you saying...? Do YOU know where Mew is? PIKACHU isn't telling! Pikachu... I'm warning you... PIKACHU says to watch the road! What do you mea- AAAAAHHH!!! EVOLUMAN crashed into TREE! TREE is ANGRY! What is going on with all the trees around here?? Is there some kind of Evil Tree Alliance goin' on? TREE wants to fight! You may have managed to defeat Luke, but Da Evolution man is invincible! PIKACHU says you were defeated by BOB! TREE sent out TREE! Pikachu, if you're so good, how about HELPING ME OUT HERE? Go! PIKACHU! TREE used FALL! Look out Pikachu, it's gonna drop apples on your head... PIKACHU's HP was restored! ....and... you... ate them.... PIKACHU was poisoned! Haven't you ever heard of poisoned apples, Pikachu? EVOLUMAN used FULL HEAL! PIKACHU's health returned! You owe me one, Pikachu! Enemy TREE used TREE! ...well that looked like a fairly harmless attack. PIKACHU used THUNDER! PIKACHU's attack missed! Well that makes NO sense! Lightning always hits tall objects like that! Enemy TREE used LEAF! Enemy TREE LEFT! It... walked away... I've never seen a tree do THAT before. PIKACHU is happy! Hey Pikachu, you owe me a favor for that full heal I used on you. PIKACHU reluctantly agrees! Good! Tell me where Mew is.... Rare Battle #2: The Chase August 12, 1999 Player: James from Team Rocket [Record: 2-2-0] Last Battle: Loss vs. Professor Oak (Battle #16) Hey, I see him! JESSIE wants to know what you see! Da Evolution Man! He's fighting some sort of tree I think. JESSIE grabbed the BINOCULARS! OW!! THOSE WERE STILL AROUND MY NECK!! JESSIE says she thought you told her that Da Evolution Man was searching for Mew! That's right.... ow... my neck... JESSIE wants to know what he's doing fighting a tree! I dunno, maybe the tree attacked him or something. JESSIE says the tree is walking away! Huh? How could it do that? JESSIE says Da Evolution Man is riding his bike again! Then we must follow! JAMES got on the bicycle! We'll just follow Da Evolution Man until he leads us straight to Mew! JESSIE says Mew doesn't exist! Hmph. Well, it certainly won't help if you have that kind of attitude. JESSIE says you're too optimistic! Yeah, well when we find Mew I get to keep it. JESSIE wants to fight! Wha?? But I'm following Da Evolution Man! JESSIE sent out JESSIE! But... but how can I fight you and pedal at the same time?? Go! JAMES! Enemy JESSIE used PUNCH! Ow... stop it, I'll lose my balance! Enemy JESSIE's attack continues! Enemy JESSIE used PUNCH! Yiiii!! That was close! Why're you doing this to me?? Enemy JESSIE used BITE! AAARRGGHH!! MY NECK!! Please... have mercy... Enemy JESSIE is HAVING MERCY! Ow.... JESSIE reminds you that anything you find belongs to her! Alright alright... I didn't think you believed in Mew. JESSIE doesn't believe in Mew! Well then why did you-? JESSIE is GLARING at you! ...never mind. Hey, Da Evolution Man stopped outside that cave. JESSIE suggests that you hide! Good idea. How about behind this tree? JAMES hid behind TREE! Well... Da Evolution Man went into the cave. I guess we'll just wait out here.... TREE wants to fight! Huh? OH NO!! It's one of THESE trees! JESSIE says to leave it up to her! It's all yours... JESSIE sent out EKANS! TREE sent out TREE! EKANS used WRAP! Good move, Jessie! The tree is now surrounded by that snake... er.... ekans. Enemy TREE used FALL! Isn't this the move where apples fall off the tree? Enemy TREE FELL! AAH!! It squished the Ekans! JESSIE is ANGRY! JESSIE used LIFT! Enemy TREE was LIFTED! Ekans doesn't look like it's in good shape... What? EKANS is evolving! ...but I could be wrong. EKANS evolved into ARBOK! Gee, it looks just like a Kobra - Cobra... heh heh... JESSIE says to stop your babbling! ARBOK used WRAP! Enemy TREE is suffocating! Yeah, if any tree ever needed to breathe... it'd be this one. Enemy TREE fainted! Victory! Way to go, Jessie! Rare Battle #3: The Fight for Mew August 12, 1999 Player: Da Evolution Man [Record: 3-2-0] Last Battle: Win vs. Tree (Rare Battle #1) It sure is dark in here, Pikachu. PIKACHU says it's just a little farther! Yeah, you said the same thing about half an hour ago. PIKACHU says your internal clock is way off! Yeah? So how much time DID pass, then? PIKACHU says it's been 45 minutes! Ah hah! It's been even LONGER than I thought! PIKACHU says Mew should be just around the corner! Yeah right. You're probably leading me into some sort of trap. MEW wants to fight! WOAH!!! THERE IT IS!! KILL, PIKACHU, KILL!! Go! PIKACHU! Enemy MEW used MEW! Enemy MEW is MEWING! Aww... how cute.... C'mon Pikachu! Electrocute that thing! PIKACHU refuses! Huh? Why? PIKACHU says that MEW is too cute! You've attacked plenty of cute things before! What about that poor Jigglypuff that you nearly killed the other day?? PIKACHU says that was an accident! Oh, so you "accidentally" shot those 40 bolts of lightning in its general direction? PIKACHU says it was acting hostile! You call dancing around and saying "Jigglypuff" hostile?? MEW joined PIKACHU! WHAT??? How come it joined you? PIKACHU doesn't know! Well, I wish it would have joined ME. PIKACHU says it makes no difference! I guess not. Let's get out of here. PIKACHU agrees! ...well, here we are, outside the cave again. AND WE HAVE MEW!! MWA HA HA HA HA!!! PIKACHU says you shouldn't yell that so loud. Any why not? It's not like anybody would STEAL OUR EXTREMELY RARE POKéMON!! PIKACHU says to be silent! Pikachu, there's nobody around! ...unless you count those two Team Rocket members walking toward us. I suppose you're here for Mew, huh? JAMES says yes! Alright - but you'll have to fight for it! JAMES wants to fight! JESSIE wants to fight! PIKACHU wants to fight! Pikachu!! You're on MY side, remember? PIKACHU remembered! Go! VENOMOTH! PIKACHU sent out MISSING NO. JAMES sent out GEODUDE! JESSIE sent out ARBOK! I think a few too many things have been sent out here... Enemy GEODUDE used DUDE! Enemy GEODUDE is a DUDE! VENOMOTH fainted! I HATE this Venomoth! MISSING NO. used GLITCH! Enemy GEODUDE became GLITCHED solid! Good job, Pikachu. Now I'll send out my Abra! Get'm, ABRA! ABRA fainted! WHY DON'T I HAVE ANY GOOD POKéMON?? Enemy ARBOK used WRAP! It's super effective! MISSING NO. is leaking HP! That's the weirdest thing I've ever seen... ...there is an actual PUDDLE of HP on the ground! MEW is drinking the HP! Uhhh... why is Mew drinking the Missing No.'s HP? JAMES grabbed MEW! No! You can't do that! JAMES says he just did! Mew! Fight back! DO SOMETHING! MEW is happy! Ugh... JESSIE PUNCHED JAMES! JAMES fainted! JESSIE grabbed MEW! Heh heh, looks like Team Rocket's down to just one person. JESSIE is running away! Don't let her get away!! PIKACHU used THUNDER! PIKACHU's attack missed! It always does.... THUNDER kept going and crashed! ...into a TREE! TREE used FALL! TREE FELL on JESSIE! NICE ONE!! MEW is scared! Don't worry, Mew! I'm coming to capture... er... help you! PIKACHU says not to move! Oh, it's alright, Mew isn't afraid of me... MEW is afraid of you! Here, Mewey mewey mewey... MEW ran away! Oh well, that's that. PIKACHU says you just ruined your chances of ever capturing Mew! Yeah, well I didn't really care that much anyway. PIKACHU wants to know why you acted like you wated to catch it so much! To further the plot, of course. Gotta entertain those subscribers of that PokéBattles Newsletter, you know. PIKACHU says the PokéBattles Newsletter is messed up! Ah, you say that to everything. And so, our heroes walk together into the sunset. How they did this in the middle of the day, we'll never know. All we do know is that Mew has formed an underground resistance against Da Evolution Man. How Mew managed to do this, we'll never know. All we do know is that Team Rocket has blasted off again. How they managed to do so while unconscious we'll never know. All we do know is that by now you've realized how boring this ending is, and have by now stopped reading it. How you managed to do that after the virus included with every issue of the PokéBattles Newsletter has infiltrated your browser, we'll never know. All we do know is that- PIKACHU used THUNDERSHOCK! Ow.... alright, I can take a hint... I'll shut up now. Originally, Rare Battle #4 was seperate from the first three, an extra hidden battle for readers to find. However, we have included it here for convenience. Enjoy! Rare Battle #4: Final Conflict October 17, 1999 Player: Bob 'That Guy' Smith [Record: 2-3-0] Last Battle: Loss vs. Cashier (Battle #14) I'm not afraid of you! Yeah... I'm talking to YOU! Just because you're a cashier doesn't mean you're stronger than anyone else! So? Are you going to battle me or what? MIRROR does NOTHING! I know that! I'm just practicing! CASHIER appeared! AAAH!!! HOW'D YOU GET INTO MY HOUSE?? CASHIER says she just appeared there! Oh... well um... uhh... why are you here? CASHIER says you have to return the POKéMON GAME! No! Have mercy! I have 1343 hours on that game!! CASHIER says you're lying! Why do you say that? CASHIER says the game clock won't go that high! Oh yeah? How do you know? Have YOU ever played that long? CASHIER admits she hasn't! Look, I'll give you 60 bucks. Would that be enough to cover the game? CASHIER says the game costs ¥2995! What in the name of Mewtwo is a ¥? CASHIER says it's the symbol for yen! But... but I don't have any yen! CASHIER wants to fight! But I don't want any more of my Pokémon to die! BOB ran away crying! NO! I'm fighting! ...I don't even have any real Pokémon left alive anyway. It's up to you, Mouse! Go! MOUSE! CASHIER sent out MAGIKARP! Is that the best you can do? Click it, Mouse! MOUSE used CLICK! Enemy MAGIKARP fainted! Woohoo! Keep up the good work, Mouse! MOUSE gained 57 exp. points! MOUSE grew to level 24! Yes! What? MOUSE is evolving! YES!! YES!! YES!!!!!! MOUSE evolved into ELECTRIC MOUSE! A Pikachu? No! Oh.... okay.... weird. CASHIER sent out MR. MIME! Aaaah!! Electric Mouse, don't make eye contact! ELECTRIC MOUSE made EYE CONTACT! Hey... wait a minute! The mouse doesn't have eyes!! ELECTRIC MOUSE is confused! Come back, E-MOUSE! ELECTRIC MOUSE! Enough! You can do it, Modem! Do it! MODEM! Use your connect attack, Modem! MODEM used CONNECT! MODEM CONNECTED to MR. MIME at 28.8 Kb/s It's super effective! Ha ha! Feel the wrath of my level 28.8 modem! MR. MIME used .MIM FILE! MODEM is downloading MULTI-PART MIME MESSAGE at 28.8 Kb/s! Noooo!! It's using your own connection speed against you, Modem! Quick! Disconnect! MODEM used DISCONNECT! It failed! MODEM fainted! At least it didn't DIE... Looks like you're going back in, E-Mouse. The enemy's weak! Get'm, ELECTRIC MOUSE! Use your trackball, Mouse. Run it over! ELECTRIC MOUSE used TRACKBALL! MR. MIME was run over! MR. MIME fell on ELECTRIC MOUSE! MR. MIME fainted! ELECTRIC MOUSE fainted! Now what? CASHIER sent out CASHIER! So it's come down to us, huh? Fine, let's finish this once and for all! Go! BOB! Hmm... what would be super effective against a cashier? How about Pay Day? BOB used PAY DAY! Coins scattered everywhere! It's super effective! Ha ha! How're you going to explain the missing money to your boss? CASHIER is UPSET! CASHIER is CRYING! Oh... um gee... I'm sorry. I didn't mean to- CASHIER withdrew CASHIER! Huh? What're you doing? CASHIER sent out WEEDLE! AAAAH!!! IT WAS A TRAP!! Enemy WEEDLE glares at you menacingly! But... that Weedle can't kill a trainer, can it? CASHIER is LAUGHING! You... you wouldn't! CASHIER says to return the Pokémon game or else! NEVER!! WEEDLE used- AAAHH!!! ALRIGHT ALRIGHT!!! BOB gives POKéMON GAME to CASHIER! Could you maybe keep that game for me... and I'll come back later with yen and- CASHIER deleted SAVEGAMEFILE! Noooo.... BOB ran away! CASHIER wins! >> Go Back to Red Version Archives

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