Battle #003: My Sea Drive is Full April 23, 2009 Player: Captain Written by [New Author] Arrr.... This battle brought to you by the letter R! Aye.... And the letter I! ... And the letter B! ... No more? Indeed. Shall we get this show started then? CAPTAIN is on a PIRATE SHIP swabbing the deck! Arr... one day I'll be captain of this ship! BUT you already are! Ye be wrong there laddy... my first name be Captain is all. I be only a first mate. What kind of name is CAPTAIN? I be named after me father! Don't be making jest of it! I be Captain Odderbote the Fourteenth... and I be the closest to captain my family ever be. I make me father proud I do. That's STUPID! I don't be making fun of your name do I? NARRATOR is the NARRATOR! It's who he is! Arrr... not all of us be so lucky. GIANTSQUID appeared off the starboard bow! Where be that again? I never remember which way is which. PERHAPS that is why you're not the CAPTAIN! Also it should be obvious if you used your eyes! Arr... so starboard means right. I'll remember next time. GIANTSQUID used STARBOARD! TO HIT CAPTAIN UPSIDE THE HEAD! Yarrr! At least it not be downside my head! GIANTSQUID used STARBOARD! TO HIT CAPTAIN DOWNSIDE THE HEAD! CAPTAIN fainted! Me poor captain! FIRST MATE CAPTAIN was promoted! Player: Capt. Captain I wish me family were here to see this day! GIANTSQUID would love that! It's rather hungry! I'll use my peg leg to fend it off! CAPTAIN can't stands no more! Go, PEGLEG! Aye, take it down a peg! PEGLEG used DOWN! GIANTSQUID is DOWN WITH THE SICKNESS! Yarrr... that giant squid be disturbed. BUY the album "The Sickness" by DISTURBED on AMAZON.COM! Arrr I thought I had me popup blocker activated. A POPUP BLOCKER? Yarr, it be crazy to sail the seven seas without it. Protects ye from phishermen, don't ye know! NARRATOR has heard of SURFING the INTERNET, but not SAILING! I be what ye call a software pirate. Yarrr. POKEBATTLES.COM does not CONDONE PIRACY! GIANTSQUID used RIAA! Noo! It's not very effective! Ah hah! I knew not dealing in movies and music would save me one day! Peg leg! Stab it in the eye! CAPT.CAPT stuck his LEG PEG in a ROUND EYE! GIANTSQUID flails about in its blindness! I no be complaining, but don't they have two eyes? GIANTSQUID lost its other eye in an unfortunate PHISHING accident! I no be seeing how that possible, arrr... GIANTSQUID's other eye had been HACKED! Into pieces! Arr... I see! There be nothing sadder than a blind squid. What about blind kittens? Arrr arr arrr arrr! NARRATOR thinks that is the strangest cry he's ever heard! Ye be unkind to kittens do ye? Return Peg Leg! Go harpoon! GIANTSQUID never touched a kitten! Go, HARPOON! HARPOON went! Right into the side of the squid! GIANTSQUID was caught! Would you like to rename your GIANTSQUID? Arr I do. Rename it Blackey! For its ink you see, I be clever! Arr arr arr! Are you crying again? Nay, me cry and me laughter simply look the same in text form. GIANTSQUID was renamed BLACKEY! CAPT.CAPT wins! A pirate's life for me! SHIP is SINKING! Arr? What? From when the GIANTSQUID detached the STARBOARD and killed the former captain with it! I thought he simply be fainted! Do you think ye'd be-- you'd be promoted in such a case? Arr... you be- ye be right. Alright Blackey, use surf and get us out of here! BLACKEY used SURF! BLACKEY is still blind! Arrr... I not be thinking ahead there... arr. And so begins the travels of CAPT. CAPTAIN and his faithful blind squid, BLACKEY!

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